A tale of muppetry

Reyt nice van that 👌

Warning: Do not read this if you have a tendency towards muppetry ⚠️⛔

Easter holidays, nice weather. Kids have been very good dealing with all the changes from home school, to real school, to holidays with nothing to do, so a day out in the van to Clumber with bikes and picnic is arranged.

When it comes to it, it feels a bit weird, partly because it’s just the 3 of us, being a week day, and partly because it’s beyond the confines of the village. And it involves actually driving. And there will be people. Probably lots. But it’s it’s big place and there’s plenty of room to spread out, so we are ok with this.

We booked an arrival slot, wrestled with the bike rack, loaded up and passed by the Go-op for supplies on the way out.

Manicure ruined with this lot!

Traffic was queuing on arrival, as there was only one way in, and as we edged along past the gate I made a mental note to park as far away from the crowds as possible.

Most of the vehicular masses were parked in neat rows on the right hand side of the field, so we hooked a left across the wide open empty field, past the odd motor home and installed ourselves by a small fenced off tree, leaving a nice 8 or 10 foot gap next to the van to allow room to put out chairs, maybe even wind out the awning. 🌞⛱🪑

Unfortunately we seemed to set a trend, as within half an hour a line of vehicles had parked alongside us, but as they were at the right hand side this minor muppetry wasn’t too vexatious. We enjoyed our first snack of the day in peace.

Al fresco yoghurts and juice 😋

A bit of capering about by the assembled infants and juniors, some velcro bat and balling and some mithering about needing to bike ride necessitated a coffee and a very nice doughnut 🍩 to keep the peace.


Eventually I gave in and wrestled with the bike rack, stashed the chairs indoors and we took off for a ride. I foolishly made a bet with Madame that some fool would be parked in the gap between the van and the fence by the time we made it back…

We cycled down to the pleasure grounds, fed the geeks and swanz and eventually made it back to the van, having shoved the boy child most of the way as “it’s too hard” “it doesn’t go fast enough” “Mummeeeeee!”

This is the scene we had left…

Beautiful open space…

Note the Go-op bag stuffed with snack detritus.

Also note the red mini, that in it’s haste to park up so close to the fence almost flattened H’s bike which was leant against it.

But fair play, they waited for us to move it, only mildly inconvenienced by all accounts. Mid level muppetry reached even before lunchtime.

And yet here it is, the pinnacle of muppetry which greeted us on our return from une balade à vélo, sweating, starving and ready for a nice shady picnic under the awning. Alas it was not to be. So we arranged ourselves around the front of the van instead, with this view.


I’ll repeat the fact that not even half of the field was full or even fenced off in any way. There was no actual requirement to park next to anyone. Why in the bejeezus would you choose a skinny gap between a fence and a big van!????!!

So much space

Most vexatious.

But the good thing about having a van is that it does more than get you from A to B. The kids did some kindling in the roof, at least they would have, if Clumber wasn’t an Internet black spot and the roof was 1000°.

We had cold drinks, bathroom facilities, entertainment, comfy seating, more sugary snacks than you can shake a stick at, and no need to be home in a hurry.

So we stayed all day, and eventually the muppets retreated. I can’t say they saw the error of their ways mind.

Lonely boot 👢



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